The Relentless Friend

Last night was a rough night. I have them often.

As I tossed and turned,  I found that my struggle was one of immense fatigue. I felt the kind of weariness that my mind could recount better than my body could. It was beyond physical.

As I laid in bed, thoughts of inadequacy, anxiety, regret, and comparison beat me like an African drum. I felt waves of hopelessness crashing against the walls of my heart, and though I profess and know what to do and how to fight in times like these, I found that last night was a night where I had not an ounce of strength to fight.

Here's the thing: I’m a Christian, y’all.

I know what the Word of God says when it comes to nights like these. I am called to fight with my armor (Ephesians 6:11), to do what my Haitian grandmother would often do, sing songs of victory and praise declaring the faithfulness and goodness of the Lord in spite of what she may feel.

But that's not what I did. As the waves raged, I found myself sinking deeper, with absolutely no energy or desire to fight.

Oh, but to know a relentless friend in times of trouble.

As tears fell down my eyes and the waters of doubt and discouragement overpowered me, I was reminded of the truth in Psalms 34:18:

“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”

Did I immediately feel better after being reminded of this truth? No.

Did my anxiety and fatigue immediately disappear? No.

However, to be reminded that I serve a God who relentlessly runs towards me in times of trouble was everything to me in that moment. I didn't have to climb a ladder of self-determination and strength to be noticed. The Lord saw me in despair, and reminded me that he is not only God, but a friend who relentlessly pursues. He is a God powerful enough to calm storms, and who weeps with those who are affected by them.

Be encouraged today.