Eight Steps to Fighting Depression this Winter

So it's getting colder and the sun is going down quicker, which naturally means rates of seasonal depression go up. With that in mind, here are some tips for helping to facilitate a 180 degree turn in your life. (Note: I am not a counselor, life coach, therapist or anything of the like. This is all from personal experience, in both my own life and interactions with others)

1. Go to therapy

Take the time and be intentional about finding a good psychotherapist. Even if you grew up in the "ideal" home, you still have trauma that you are carrying into other relationships that you haven't dealt with. Therapy helps one unearth that pain, recognize where it comes from, and then find and apply best practices for self-improvement. When I didn't have insurance, I put my therapy appointments on a credit card. I've since paid it back, and never would have gotten myself to a business or financial position to be successful had I not taken care of my mental first. 

If you have limitations around seeing a therapist that you cannot get around, I recommend starting with some high-quality books. My personal favorites are The Gifts of Imperfection by Brene Brown and Ten Days to Self-Esteem by David Burns.

2. Discover your white noise

Ari Lennox has this amazing song called Static where she talks about her issues with anxiety and finding her white noise. Years ago, I tasked myself with finding my white noise(s) and being intentional (in both my personal and professional life) about not wavering on those things. My white noise? I travel outside the country at least once a year, go hiking/spend extended time in nature with no technology, read the Bible, listen to a lot of Neo-soul, and write a lot. In particular, my go-to artists in hyper anxious moments are Jessie Ware, Kacey Musgraves, Whitney Houston, Nipsey Hussle, Paramore, anything with Swae Lee on it and Ari Lennox. I like to write poetry and novels. I try to read a Psalm a day. I recently went to Melbourne and loved it. Find your white noise.

3. Unapologetically be yourself

One of the seminal moments of my life was when I fully embraced who I am and stopped having reservations about how people would perceive me. I love tattoos, Taylor Swift, pretending I'm an English footballer when I'm on long runs, walking around with folded arms in my office like Nick Saban and roaming the streets of DC like I'm Jim Harbaugh with a stiff grind on his face. And you know what, I don't give a rats tail how you feel about that. It’s a great place to be.

4. Read or begin to write in a journal

A dedicated space where you either get lost in the total creative world of someone else or immerse your mental in your own imagination or thoughts is crucial. It doesn't have to be daily, but semi-daily is a good start. The overexposure of tech has made this world seemingly unbearable and yet impossible to escape. That’s not good for our mental health. Get lost in something that requires you to use your own imagination, thinking skills, etc. as often as you can.

5. Be intentional about reframing negative thoughts

I’m naturally a cynic and critical thinker, but that is not always a good place to be. There is so much power in the mind, and most, if not all of our battles, start there. When things that feel the least bit invasive or negative creep in, I ask myself whether this is a positive thought, try to consider the roots of where it came from, and then determine if it is a thought worthy of intentional reframe or simply one that needs to be dismissed. 

6. Recognize your humanity 

Part of being human is making mistakes. We are imperfect people and we carry a lot of shame, even if we try to act like we don’t to everyone around us. But imperfections and shame do not mean we are unworthy. You are not worthless. You are not a failure. You are worthy of life. You are worthy of love.

7. Grasp and appreciate the truth that you are not responsible for anyone elses’ happiness

This stings sometimes, but it is the honest truth. For close relationships, you need recognize the role you can play in that person’s happiness of you as a unit, but as an individual, you can’t control the mind space of others. You can commit to be your best self at every moment of every day. That’s it. Part of not being responsible for others happiness is the actualization point of knowing everything isn’t about you. People you love will have moments, and those moments will have absolutely nothing to do with you. Your view of your value or worth cannot be contingent on others.

8. Never stop believing in yourself 

“Like keep grinding boy your life can change in one year.” When I was dead broke in debt up to my eyeballs contemplating the meaning of life, I said this to myself over and over again. I kept grinding, and it finally paid off. Whatever you do, give your all to it, know it’s a marathon, and even when you make it, the marathon still continues. Heads up, kings and queens – you got this.