Ep 2: Acknowledge Your Fear. Remember Your Triumphs.
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Today we discuss the need to acknowledge pain and fear yet counter it with the hopeful understanding that we have are more than conquerors.
Audio Transcript
For most people this is the sixth or seventh week of being on lock down or sheltering in place. And what we originally thought might turn out as a welcome reprieve from the hustle and bustle of everyday life has evolved into stressful, soul sucking experience that makes us feel like we’re existing in these times rather than living.
Now the default for a lot of people is to immediately assert and assume that everything can be conquered by simply changing the way we’re thinking in that moment and just sort of forcing ourselves to think about and bring into remembrance all of the wonderful things going on in our lives and the positive. And to be fair that is a wonderful, fruitful exercise we should partake in every day.
I firmly believe reframing our minds and being intentional about striking down negative thoughts and finding ways to transform things that are weighty into terms more hopeful and optimistic is a huge resource, tool and tip for battling depression or depressive states. But I worry sometimes that there’s too much emphasis on simply taking stock of our situations and saying “well, things could be a whole lot worse.”
It reminds me of a time I’ll never forget it I was in middle school and I was wrestling with suicidal thoughts and I expressed those in a less than forthcoming way when an adult at my school asked how I was doing and why I was disinterested in whatever we were learning that day. My response to her was that “Life sucks and I hate it.” And she promptly responded “well, those are nice shoes and clothes you have on and you ate lunch today. It can’t suck that bad. Lose the attitude.”
I’ll never forget that, and thank God that women wasn’t an administrator, teacher or counselor, but I think her ignorant callosuness there was a symptom and microcosm of society today.
YES, things could be worse. And there is a time and place to acknowledge that and pour out and sing blessings unto the Lord for everything He has provided us. But the fact that other people have it “worse than us” is not and should never be some magical heal all for where we are mentally.
In fact if that were the case, athletes and entertainers, celebrities and actors and actresses, anyone who is wealthy or that never has to worry about their next meal will come from should never have any struggles with mental health. And we know that just isn’t true.
In watching and reading the news, with some states about to end stay at home orders while the medical advice is that we should probably wait a little bit longer, there continues to be a difference in opinion on the way forward for us as a country. And I don’t have all the answers and anyone who does is quite frankly lying to you. The only thing we really know about this virus is that we don’t know a lot. And that from understanding feelings of anxiousness, concern, fear, isolation, pointlessness can easily and quickly develop. And I want people to know that those feelings are valid and appropriate and quite honestly if you don’t even for a second have a smidgen of any of those emotions when you think about the world right now I might be a little concerned about where you are with things.
All that to say, the reality is that there’s a likelihood that things get somewhat worse before they get better, and that there is an incredible amount of uncertainty around the next few weeks all across our country.
So here’s my exaltation for today
You should know that pain and fear are human emotions, that we all feel them from time to time, and that they manifest differently
Fear isn’t always something that manifests in a way that causes a pit in your stomach or makes you want to curl up into a ball or leads you to question the goodness or existence of God. Fear can materialize in us binge watching TV shows, playing video games for hours on in, or over indulging in harmful compulsive behavior like alcoholism or pornography or a host of other things. Not that binge watching TV or playing video games is sinful, but rather we should work to build up the self-reflective skills we need to know the difference between healthy activity and not so healthy activity
So acknowledge your pain. Acknowledge your fear.
2. Once you’ve acknowledged those emotions, bring back to your remembrance all of the times that you have already been pulled out of darkness and despair and uncertainty.
There is no question that you’ve overcome challenges and circumstance far more severe and challenging than this. You are more than a conqueror, and you believe and assert firmly that the challenges you are facing right now, whether with your family, in community or alone during this time of quarantine, that you will overcome them as you have so many challenges in your life before.
And we do all these things because we are not worthless, we are not failures. We are worthy of life, and we are worthy of love. Go win the day.