Dirty Laundry and Dirty Dishes
This is part one of three in a series of articles around Dirty Laundry and Dirty Dishes.
I have grown to feel a degree of sadness for my obsession with demonstrating strength. I don’t think I’m the sort of woman who goes out of her way to showcase herself, but I can recall recent moments where I've wrestled with an innate craving for others to believe I am more capable, powerful, and intelligent than I believe myself to be. This mostly stems from a fear that if the opposite happens, if people do not believe I am I am powerful and smart and have it all together, then they would see the little ol’ Carine who struggles with deep insecurity and shame. I find that I have a need for others to see my strength because strengths tend to be easier to handle and celebrate. My weaknesses, on the other hand, are the complete opposite – messy, scary, complex.
Is it not easier (and arguably more considerate) to invite others into a house you’ve spent hours cleaning than to bring them into weeks worth of dirty laundry and a day’s worth of dirty dishes? No one wants to expose themselves like that.
But here's the thing about dirty dishes and dirty laundry: We all have them. They serve as our receipts, proving how much it costs to simply function in this life. And more times than we’re comfortable admitting, dirty dishes and dirty laundry are the real us.
I think there is a unique strength in the disclosure of the “real us”. It’s precisely why so many women adore and celebrate women like Cardi B. To continue using the imagery presented earlier, Cardi has been rather candid about her “dirty dishes and dirty laundry.” We’ve seen her with jagged teeth, and we’ve seen her as a stripper. We’ve seen her be true to who she really is. She displays her imperfections for the world to see with what seems to be no shame, and we’re attracted to it. Her authenticity inspires many.
My concern is that it seems as if women in Christ have allowed the current culture to outperform them in admitting and broadcasting their inadequacy. I’ve recognized that I tend to be one of those women, aiming for others to gaze upon the things I do well, rather than the struggles I have that tend to cripple me. I think if Christian women desire to see women in our culture raised up to be lovers of God and His people, It will take us dismantling the idol of self-glorification that many of us have, thereby allowing others to see the parts of us that aren't so pretty and presentable. Here the first of three reasons why Christian women should boast in their weakness.
The Sufficiency of Christ Illuminates the Brightest in our Weaknesses.
“But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is perfected in weakness.’ Therefore, I will most gladly boast all the more about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may reside in me.”
2 Corinthians 12:9
The words of Jesus Christ to Paul, as he pleads with God to remove the struggle he labels as a “thorn in his flesh” (2 Corinth 12:7) blows me away. For one, I relate to Paul in that I am prone to beg God to remove my struggles completely, rather than humbly asking him to use them for His glory. I find that I want my husband to change now. I want the people who make it hard for me to be patient to get their lives together now, and a host of other things. I'm controlling, y’all! My issues with control make it really hard for me to accept that God doesn't need my signature of approval for the ways He chooses to sanctify me.
But look at what Jesus says to Paul. He doesn't encourage Paul to pull himself up from his bootstraps, nor does he lead Paul to self-medicate himself with behavior modifications to solve his problems. Paul is encouraged rather to look outside of himself, trusting that God’s grace, through the perfect person of Jesus Christ, is sufficient enough to handle what he cannot. It is God’s grace alone that serves as the power Paul needs to withstand the thorn in his flesh.
What Jesus says to Paul is what I believe he says to you and I. In the midst of our struggles, Jesus is calling us to not only admit and accept our inadequacies, but to boast in them all the more. Practically, that means pulling those dirty clothes of shame and guilt that you've stuffed in the closet, in an effort to offer a more “presentable” space before the Lord, out into the open. It means admitting your addiction to porn and masturbation. It means being honest with God about your fear of being alone in the midst of your leap from boyfriend to boyfriend. It means confessing the jealousy you often feel, or the unforgiveness in your heart. It means admitting your struggle to believe that you're beautiful as you are.
God’s glory in your life will shine the brightest when your dirty laundry and dishes are on display for Him. In Christ, true strength is in weakness. For the sake of your healing and freedom, resolve to no longer hide them.